“Move!” I ignored it. She wasn’t breathing. That meant I had to do it for her. I resisted the shove someone gave me. “Alexis! You don’t have a clue what you’re doing. I do. Move!”
She slapped me. It didn’t hurt but it forced my brain to register her. She was right… I had to let her do it. Tearing myself away from her was like ripping off a part of my body. Every instinct told me to carry on.
I watched her lay Beth out flat on her back and start rhythmic compressions on her chest. She only stopped counting under her breath to turn and shout “Get her phone, call an ambulance or something.”
Instructions. Something useful to do. Idiotically I forgot completely that I even had a phone. My head switched into its default state and it slipped my mind. I was patting her pockets, but they were empty.
It would be in her backpack maybe? Which would be in the car.
I scrambled to it on my hands and knees, not wasting time with standing up. My hands slipping in the blood and snow. The door was locked. I crawled in through the broken window. I didn’t need to look for her bag, her phone was just lying on the back seat. The screen was lit up.
Call duration: 3:23
I could already hear the tinny voice coming from it, picking it up I heard the tail end of what he was saying.
“…get my hands you I’m going to fucking rip your heart out and feed it to your family! Hello? Who the fuck is that? Bethany, are you there?”
“Mr Spencer.” I said. “Have you called-?”
I didn’t know what to reply to that. Did he mean literally where she was, or did he mean how she was? I didn’t have time for his bloody questions anyway.
“Sorry Mr Spenser, I need to call an ambulance.” I was just about to hang up when he replied.
“They are already on their way, ambulance? Is Bethany ok?”
“Beth.” I corrected with a whisper. I don’t know why. No one calls her Bethany except her mother.
“Who the fuck are you? Is my daughter okay?”
She’s not okay.
But I couldn’t say that, saying it would make it real, so I didn’t say anything.
“Who are you?”
I didn’t want him to know who I was. I was scared of him knowing. I liked my heart where it was. No, I didn’t give a fuck – without Beth, it was all worthless. All of this was worthless.
I couldn’t help her.
I just let the phone fall from my hands and cried.